We authors will cling to hope wherever we can find it. In an effort to boost sales and soar to the top of the bestseller lists I decided I needed a little more juice. Bugging my friends and relatives to buy my book will only take you so far. And this idea of leaving my business cards—showing the cover of my book and a short teaser—at every Starbucks I visit is leaving me over caffeinated and a lot lighter in the wallet.
The other day, after an extra hot Venti Caramel Macchiato I went for a brisk walk in the balmy 94-degree weather. Caffeine will make you do that. That’s why I prefer whiskey. Anway, I digress; I think you may have noticed I do that a lot, again it’s the caffeine. As a matter of fact, I’m drinking another Venti outside my local Starbucks as I speak, so to speak—I do most of my blogging here. Sitting across from me at this moment is an old homeless guy. It was the only spot left and I didn’t want to make him think I was shunning him. He is babbling incessantly, I can’t understand what he is saying though, could be something profound, but probably not. Should I offer him a venti Caramel Macchiato? I’m torn. I’ve seen him before and noticed cups by his side that other customers have undoubtedly bought for him. But does he really need the caffeine? And if I buy him a decaf—
Wait a minute. He’s getting up and he just said, “Don’t, don’t, no, no . . .” And again something indecipherable. Problem solved, he’s picked up his bags and strolled away. Now I feel really bad. Could have at least offered him an iced tea. I’ll make a mental note to do that next time I see him.
Damn! There I go again with the digressing.
Back to the brisk walk and my synchronistic moment.
As I walked past the storefronts I noticed a stenciled sign in one of the windows: Internet Marketing Campaigns beginning at just $2,000.00 a month. Free 30 minute consultation
That’s what was missing . . . a campaign (have you noticed I love using those little dot, dot, dot thingies?). For the past three weeks I had just been flailing away: a website here, Facebook page there, Twitter account and this lonely blog which is now viewed regularly by four people—not counting myself.
But $2,000.00 a month? I don’t think so. A free thirty minute consultation I could afford.
I confidently opened the door, and with my head held high, entered. Looking every bit the well-heeled businessman with my cargo shorts, flip-flops and purple tee-shirt (I only wear that one on laundry day) I surveyed the vast office space; a man sitting at one of the desks in this two-desk office jumped up and walked over with hand extended.
He asked—naturally enough—what he could do for me. I explained that I wrote a novel and I would soon be a bestselling author, so if he didn’t want to be left behind he better jump on the bandwagon before this train leaves the station. And to his incredulous and slightly bemused look I quickly added that I had been asked to join a very prestigious writing group.
Well, that stopped him dead in his tracks. His look of scorn turned instantly into one of newfound respect. He asked what the novel was about. I gave him one of those business cards that I leave at the Starbucks.
And that is when the synchronistic moment occurred.
He stared at the card and said, “Isn’t that strange? We have the same name.” And then he gave me his card: William Crawford, MBA. Under his name was one word in all caps: PRESIDENT I had gone straight to the top in this two-man office. The PRESIDENT, my namesake, said his middle name was David. I exclaimed, “Mine too!” It was a lie, but hey, you’ve gotta run with it when you have the chance.
I explained what I had been doing to promote the book, and he said I was doing everything right, just should have started my social media platform months before the book came out. Too late for that.
The good news is that since we have the same name, he took down my email and phone number and said he would brainstorm over the weekend and come up with some new wrinkles for me. He knows I can’t spend $2,000.00 a month, but again, since we have the same name he would work something out. Whatever that means.
Hopefully, you’ll be seeing a link in the next couple of blogs for his company—that means I got a real good deal.